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Children do not need our fear or despair. They need our protection until they are ready to protect themselves.
Students spent hours huddled in their locked down classrooms, texting and trying to understand what was going on. The lives of those shot and their loved ones will never be the same. And, the community is traumatized.
As one high school student asked poignantly, “WHY does this happen?”
Each time a new school shooting tragedy occurs, we adults ask ourselves the same kinds of questions, “WHY did this happen? HOW could it happen HERE? And WHAT can we do to prevent it from happening again?”
As parents, grandparents, teachers, and other caring adults, we want to know how to empower our children and our schools rather than leaving everyone feeling that stopping violence is hopeless and that they are helpless. Here are four recommendations from Kidpower:
1. Be a calm, safe person to talk to. After a frightening event, listen with empathy so that young people can talk to you about their fears without being burdened by your fears. Give them opportunities to grieve for what has happened. Acknowledge that our world is not a perfect place, but it is a wonderful place. Help kids to feel empowered by making positive changes in their own communities and schools.
2. Make sure it is safe to tell at school. Figure out how the school can help kids feel safe about speaking up if someone’s behavior is worrying them, without fear of retaliation, overreaction, or being discounted. Have a plan of action for how to handle the situation when they do speak up.
3. Prepare both kids and school staff with knowledge and skills. When an attack happens, your actions in a few seconds can make a huge difference. Prepare kids to run away from the shooting and get to safety if they hear or see shooting . Prepare adults to assess the situation, direct students to leave, call or text for help immediately, decide if it is the best choice to intervene with the person shooting, and figure out how to do this as safely as possible. In this shooting, it sounds like a teacher was able to take charge of the situation, very likely preventing more violence.
4. Make sure that every student has mentoring and support. Even if they have problems, young people who feel cared for and connected are far less likely to engage in violence than those who feel alienated and alone. Reach out to troubled kids. Notice and reach out to anyone who seems isolated. Address bullying and other violence immediately. Commit to creating a community of caring, respect, and safety for everyone.
For more information, see: Violence in Schools: Solutions for Empowering Children.
Published: February 27, 2012 | Last Updated: December 18, 2012
Irene van der Zande, Kidpower Founder and Executive Director
Kidpower Founder and Executive Irene van der Zande is a master at teaching safety through stories and practices and at inspiring others to do the same. Her child protection and personal safety expertise has been featured by USA Today, CNN, Today Moms, the LA Times, and The Wall Street Journal. Publications include: cartoon-illustrated Kidpower Safety Comics and Kidpower Teaching Books curriculum; Bullying: What Adults Need to Know and Do to Keep Kids Safe; the Relationship Safety Skills Handbook for Teens and Adults; Earliest Teachable Moment: Personal Safety for Babies, Toddlers, and Preschoolers; The Kidpower Book for Caring Adults: Personal Safety, Self-Protection, Confidence, and Advocacy for Young People, and the Amazon Best Seller Doing Right by Our Kids: Protecting Child Safety at All Levels.
