Some families are easy. Everyone finds it easy to get along, easy to have fun doing things together, and easy to work out problems. Unfortunately, I don’t know any families like that, but theoretically, they must exist.
Watch these entertaining role plays to see our skills in action:
When I ask people how they feel about family gatherings, common responses include:
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- “I LOVE my family – and, I break out in hives every time we get together!”
- “I tell myself I won’t get sucked in this time – and then, I get sucked in AGAIN!”
- “I am excited to reconnect – and, I dread the arguments!
Instead of suffering through it, getting sucked in, dreading, and getting triggered, you can take charge of your family gathering experiences – and prepare your kids to do the same. These skills and resources can help!
Be prepared to interrupt and redirect arguments, monologues, and unwanted advice.
The key to interrupting powerfully AND respectfully is to PRACTICE – and, countless people around the world have experienced success using these skills! For example, a friend once told me, “My teenagers dread Thanksgiving because older relatives bombard them with unwanted advice and negative comments about their choices.”
People around the world share success stories using these powerful skills! For example, a friend once told me, “My teenagers dread Thanksgiving because older relatives bombard them with unwanted advice and negative comments about their choices.”
I suggested, “Practice with them how to interrupt politely and clearly and then how to change the subject to something that they DO want to talk about! You can play the role of the relative and coach them to interrupt you mid-sentence by saying, loudly and clearly, ‘Excuse me, Auntie! I don’t want to talk about my grades. Tell me about some of the funny cat videos you like to watch!”
My friend asked, “What if our relatives get hurt feelings and say, sadly, ‘I just want to help you!'”
I said, ‘Prepare your teens to persist and say, ‘I appreciate that you care about me – and, I don’t want to talk about grades right now. I DO want to hear your funny cat stories!'”
My friend’s kids ended up having a wonderful time making up problem behavior and practicing different responses – some of them wildly inappropriate! And, they did a great job of managing the conversations at their holiday dinner.
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Many more solutions to having fantastic family gatherings
You’ll find many more solutions for identifying, preventing, and overcoming obstacles to having fantastic family gatherings in our article Making Family Gatherings GREAT – Not, Awful – including ways to:
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- Embrace the Mixed Bag – so you can make all your guests feel welcomed
- Be Proactive – Prevent Problems – so you can replace worry about trouble with skills to avoid it
- Make an Emotional Safety Plan – so you can manage triggers, protect your feelings, and stay calm
- Make Realistic Plans About Logistics – so you can confidently manage expenses, timing, location, activities, and meals
- Prevent Accidents, Fights, Illnesses – so you can avoid trips to the hospital – or the need for more therapy
- Use Boundary and Communication Skills – so you can speak up, listen, and get help
- Appreciate and Celebrate – so you can enjoy your time together knowing you and your loved ones do NOT have to be perfect to be GREAT!
The knowledge and skills we teach in Kidpower have prepared millions of people of all ages worldwide to understand and take charge of their emotional triggers.
Wishing you joy, peace, health, and safety today – and always,
We are here to help!
Are you struggling with how to make the best of your time with difficult family members? Email us using this form to get a personal confidential reply.
Published: November 18, 2024 | Last Updated: November 19, 2024
Irene van der Zande, Kidpower Founder and Executive Director
Kidpower Founder and Executive Irene van der Zande is a master at teaching safety through stories and practices and at inspiring others to do the same. Her child protection and personal safety expertise has been featured by USA Today, CNN, Today Moms, the LA Times, and The Wall Street Journal. Publications include: cartoon-illustrated Kidpower Safety Comics and Kidpower Teaching Books curriculum; Bullying: What Adults Need to Know and Do to Keep Kids Safe; the Relationship Safety Skills Handbook for Teens and Adults; Earliest Teachable Moment: Personal Safety for Babies, Toddlers, and Preschoolers; The Kidpower Book for Caring Adults: Personal Safety, Self-Protection, Confidence, and Advocacy for Young People, and the Amazon Best Seller Doing Right by Our Kids: Protecting Child Safety at All Levels.