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Adrian Peterson, one of the National Football League’s top stars, has been charged with child abuse for hitting his four-year-old son to the point of causing open wounds. Seeing the photos is deeply upsetting for most people, including myself, and it is hard not to imagine the pain and terror this little boy must have experienced.
Peterson turned himself in and does not seem to be disputing what happened. He has said that he loves his son and did not mean to injure him.
According to his attorney, Peterson’s explanation is that he was disciplining his son in the way that he had been disciplined as a child and thought he was doing his duty as a father.
Although there is a great deal of disagreement in the US about whether or not spanking should be allowed in the name of discipline and about where to draw the line on allowing parents to decide how they discipline their children, the law is clear. Hitting a child in a way that causes a bruise or other mark to be visible after 24 hours is considered grounds for suspected child abuse.
Both in football and in our society, ignorance of the law is no excuse. In both cases, if you break the rules, you face consequences whether you know, understand, or agree with those rules or not. Hitting a small child so hard that he bleeds is illegal.
So is deliberately physically harming anyone, unless it is within the boundaries of a game such as pro-football, between consenting adults of equal power to make decisions about whether or not to be there.
Of course, the rules of football are NOT the same as the rules for life outside of the game. In football, within boundaries, physical aggression is necessary to win the game – and is rewarded.
In life, physical aggression to get someone else to do what you want – or in a moment of frustration or anger – can be truly destructive for everyone involved. And, no matter what someone’s intentions are, a parent causing this kind of injury to a child in the name of “discipline” is likely to leave scars long after the physical wounds have healed.
Sports stars are heroes to so many people. One of the most powerful things they can do with their fame is to be role models to their fans by showing how to prevent violence rather than modeling and perpetuating it in their personal lives.
I am glad that our society is increasingly bringing violent illegal acts by high-profile figures to light – and taking action to hold people accountable no matter how famous they are.
However, I am also sad that a talented player like Adrian Peterson, who I think really does want to be a good father, did not have the skills or knowledge to use safer options in parenting his son.
I wish that all sports teams would be pro-active in preventing violence by encouraging their players to add anger management, conflict resolution, and positive parenting skills to their training – and by giving much greater rewards to those who model excellence in how they live their personal lives as well as in how well they play their games.
About Kidpower and International Child Protection Month
Kidpower Teenpower Fullpower International is a global nonprofit leader in protecting people of all ages and abilities from bullying, violence, and abuse through awareness, action, and skills. To celebrate our 25 year-anniversary, we are establishing September as International Child Protection Month in partnership with many others. The purpose is to inspire, honor, and support adult leadership in protecting and empowering young people. For free resources and information on how to get involved, visit www.childprotectionmonth.org
Published: September 14, 2014 | Last Updated: September 14, 2014
Irene van der Zande, Kidpower Founder and Executive Director
Kidpower Founder and Executive Irene van der Zande is a master at teaching safety through stories and practices and at inspiring others to do the same. Her child protection and personal safety expertise has been featured by USA Today, CNN, Today Moms, the LA Times, and The Wall Street Journal. Publications include: cartoon-illustrated Kidpower Safety Comics and Kidpower Teaching Books curriculum; Bullying: What Adults Need to Know and Do to Keep Kids Safe; the Relationship Safety Skills Handbook for Teens and Adults; Earliest Teachable Moment: Personal Safety for Babies, Toddlers, and Preschoolers; The Kidpower Book for Caring Adults: Personal Safety, Self-Protection, Confidence, and Advocacy for Young People, and the Amazon Best Seller Doing Right by Our Kids: Protecting Child Safety at All Levels.
