Do you know anyone who when you share a compliment, they deflect it, dismiss it by including a “but” or give some reason why the compliment isn’t quite so? This is a habit I’ve seen in my mom, ever since my childhood.
If guests complimented her on her cooking, she would say something like, “Oh, the sauce is too salty.” On a recent phone call, I told her that she is aging well. Her first reaction was, “Oh, I don’t know about that”!
As she has become older, now 90, I want my mom to value herself instead of putting herself down for her forgetfulness or feeling badly about how our childhood years were from her perspective.
I encourage her to use the Heart Power skill we teach in Kidpower for taking in compliments, protecting your heart, and using your heart to connect with others. For example, when I say, “It’s a joy to be with you.”, she may respond with, “I feel like I’m a burden for you.” I encourage her by saying, “Mom, please take my compliment into your heart. Try putting your hands over your heart and just say, “Thank you.”
After my mom’s initial reaction to her aging well, I shared 3 top reasons why she is aging well. She accepted my compliment and shared how it felt good to hear this and said, “Thank you”.
Because she is forgetful, I keep reminding her to accept compliments wholeheartedly. The silver lining with her memory loss is my witnessing her using Heart Power many times over. It’s as if she melts when she truly accepts the compliment with her hands crossed over her heart, often closing her eyes to take the special moment in. Each time, it’s as if she is using it for the first time. She thanks me for the reminder.
This Valentine’s Day, give the gift of Heart Power to those you care about. It’s simple, effective, and fun. We can all benefit from being kind, especially to ourselves.
Maryse and her mother, Catherine
Published: February 14, 2023 | Last Updated: February 14, 2023
Do you know anyone who when you share a compliment, they deflect it, dismiss it by including a “but” or give some reason why the compliment isn’t quite so? This is a habit I’ve seen in my mom, ever since my childhood.
If guests complimented her on her cooking, she would say something like, “Oh, the sauce is too salty.” On a recent phone call, I told her that she is aging well. Her first reaction was, “Oh, I don’t know about that”!
Maryse and her mother, Catherine
As she has become older, now 90, I want my mom to value herself instead of putting herself down for her forgetfulness or feeling badly about how our childhood years were from her perspective.
I encourage her to use the Heart Power skill we teach in Kidpower for taking in compliments, protecting your heart, and using your heart to connect with others. For example, when I say, “It’s a joy to be with you.”, she may respond with, “I feel like I’m a burden for you.” I encourage her by saying, “Mom, please take my compliment into your heart. Try putting your hands over your heart and just say, “Thank you.”
After my mom’s initial reaction to my recent compliment, I shared 3 top reasons why she is aging well. She accepted my compliment and shared how it felt good to hear this and said, “Thank you”.
Because she is forgetful, I keep reminding her to accept compliments wholeheartedly. The silver lining with her memory loss is my witnessing her using Heart Power many times over. It’s as if she melts when she truly accepts the compliment with her hands crossed over her heart, often closing her eyes to take the special moment in. Each time, it’s as if she is using it for the first time. She thanks me for the reminder.
This Valentine’s Day, give the gift of Heart Power to those you care about. It’s simple, effective, and fun. We can all benefit from being kind, especially to ourselves.
Published: February 14, 2023 | Last Updated: February 14, 2023
Maryse Postlewaite leads conflict resolution workshops, nurturing compassionate relationships. She has over 40 years experience as a Montessori educator, including mentoring teachers, consulting schools, and presenting on cultivating community building and classroom management.
Maryse is an active board member of Kidpower International.
Learn more at: https://tlcpathways.com
Maryse Postlewaite
Maryse Postlewaite leads conflict resolution workshops, nurturing compassionate relationships. She has over 40 years experience as a Montessori educator, including mentoring teachers, consulting schools, and presenting on cultivating community building and classroom management. Maryse is an active board member of Kidpower International. Learn more at: https://tlcpathways.com