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It doesn’t matter what you have for dinner, as long as you have a good time together
Even though I don’t like to cook and hate to shop, and everyone in my family is somewhat difficult, including myself, I truly love the holiday season. Our time on this planet is limited, and there is no gift more priceless than having special times with the people important to us.
It is normal for things to go wrong sometimes. On one holiday visit, I served a cup of tea to a good friend. To his credit, he didn’t spit it out – just took a couple of small sips to make sure he wasn’t mistaken and then said gently, “Irene, I think you might have put salt instead of sugar into my tea.”
My friend could have been offended and said something rude. He could have suffered in silence and never let me give him anything to drink or eat again. Or, I could have been so mortified that I spent the rest of our visit being uncomfortable.
Instead, I said in an astonished voice, “Oops! I’m sorry! How on earth did that happen?” We both burst out laughing as I made him a new cup of tea.
“Special time” does NOT require perfect dinners, expensive gifts, fancy clothes, agreement about everything, doing things the way they’ve always been done, or flawless homes. Unrealistic expectations, rigid standards, and poor boundaries can cause enormous stress that breaks relationships down instead of building them up.
What makes time together special DOES include listening with compassion, appreciative communications rather than critical ones, accepting differences, managing problems with grace and humor, allowing space when needed, setting powerful and respectful boundaries when needed, and adapting traditions to work well for everyone.
Here are some of our most popular Kidpower articles to help you and your family have more fun and fewer problems during this special time of year.
Five Communication Strategies I Already Know – But Forget to Use
The Art of Giving Thanks: Generous Gratitude
Holiday Family Safety Plan for Going Out in Public
Holiday Power: Taking Charge of Emotional Safety During the Holidays
Holiday Boundaries: Protecting Children’s Emotional Safety and Helping Others Do the Same
Advocating With Family Members for Your Kids
Kidpower Safety Plans for Children With Disabilities
How to Make Family Gatherings Great Instead of Awful
No Forced Kisses for Your Kids: A Holiday Safety Tip for Families
Seven Emotional Safety Techniques
Grandparenting: Supporting Strong Family Relationships – 7 Ground Rules From Kidpower
Thousands of our readers have found that these skills, strategies, and safety plans are immensely helpful in improving communication, making clear safety plans, setting realistic expectations, strengthening relationships, and reducing stress.
If there is an issue we didn’t address here, please let us know. It’s probably an issue that others need help with as well. We can protect your privacy while sharing how to prevent and solve problems by using Kidpower strategies and skills.
Published: November 19, 2014 | Last Updated: December 7, 2016
Irene van der Zande, Kidpower Founder and Executive Director
Kidpower Founder and Executive Irene van der Zande is a master at teaching safety through stories and practices and at inspiring others to do the same. Her child protection and personal safety expertise has been featured by USA Today, CNN, Today Moms, the LA Times, and The Wall Street Journal. Publications include: cartoon-illustrated Kidpower Safety Comics and Kidpower Teaching Books curriculum; Bullying: What Adults Need to Know and Do to Keep Kids Safe; the Relationship Safety Skills Handbook for Teens and Adults; Earliest Teachable Moment: Personal Safety for Babies, Toddlers, and Preschoolers; The Kidpower Book for Caring Adults: Personal Safety, Self-Protection, Confidence, and Advocacy for Young People, and the Amazon Best Seller Doing Right by Our Kids: Protecting Child Safety at All Levels.
